I want share this with you. It’s exceptionally insightful. Somethings are difficult to put into words, but I felt compelled to find something. This puts it all together, cuts through the still obscured parts of me that I’m unable to convey. One thing is clear: There are “No” winners or losers, only lost and found.
Since I’ve had to take care of my mom full time, I’ve aloud the rest of my life to go on hold.
The things that breathed my life’s breath, my expression of being, my passion, have slowly dwindled away into patterns of contrasting roles: From care giving to distractions over and over. Going through the motions, hopeless of any positive outcome, the aspirations I once had are now replaced with a belief as long as I do this one thing right later will fall into place. My duty is to just trying to stay in that one role as caregiver, that’s all I need to do, that is my life, my mom is my life, without a vision of any possible future because that would mean that she is gone. It’s a contradiction in my mind. As if to do both, one would be subtract from the other. -+=0. 0=0 substance. 0+1=found
Now that I’ve recognized this, now that I see it. I’m no longer lost.
There are no losers, just people lost and found.
© Danisms 2016